Some comedians go on tour to make money. Others go on tour to spend their life savings while pissing in jugs and eating undercooked SpaghettiOs in a Planet Fitness parking lot before hitting their third open mic of the night.
If that second scenario feels oddly specific, it’s because it perfectly describes Kansas City comedian Michael Blanck, who I recently had the pleasure of meeting.
Michael set off on what he called “a month-long journey across the continental United States,” as he announced on his YouTube channel. He didn’t have a tour bus, a camera crew, or five-star meals. What he did have was:
- A 1999 Toyota Camry with a massive dent on the side.
- A shattered iPhone 7.
- Several cans of soup.
And somehow, this bare-bones setup, (combined with sheer determination) got him to the East Coast. Along the way, he performed at dozens of open mics in major cities.
How Does He Afford This Life?
During a conversation with Mike, I asked how he was managing to fund this nomadic lifestyle. His answer? He couldn’t.
Blanck earns about $30,000 a year from TikTok, primarily by creating advertisements for iPhone games. That month, he made $800. $600 of which went straight to rent. That left him $200 and whatever remained of his life savings. He expressed, with an alarming calmness, how he was running out of money. But, in his words, it will all be worth it in the end.
To save money on shelter, Michael Blanck sleeps in his car parked overnight in Planet Fitness lots. Being a Black Card member, he can go to any gym across the country. There, he also showers, uses the bathroom, loiters, and edits content for his social medias. He gets a break from his car-sleep when a generous fan offers him a couch or an air mattress to crash on.
As for food, Michael keeps the cost low by taking advantage of every opportunity for free meals, which is where his loyal fans come in. They’ve been known to buy Mike meals at restaurants, or make him chicken nuggets in the air fryer. When he does make his own food, it’s usually canned. He’ll occasionally splurge on salmon or chuck steak, but that’s usually a treat to be had after successful stand up performances. Gas is the one thing that really burns a hole in his pocket. But it doesn’t matter if he had no money for gas at all, because mike would walk to the next open mic if he had to.
The Camry Tour
Mike gave me a tour of his car, and it was an experience I’ll never forget.
- His luggage was wrapped in plastic bags because his trunk has a hole in it, letting rain in.
- He showed me a gallon jug of piss, filled halfway with deep orange piss. We were outside by the way. He easily could’ve emptied it. He didn’t.
- His “bed” consisted of a pillow, and a singular white sheet.
- A glass in his cupholder contained bananas of varying sizes.
- He had a skateboard in his trunk, which he pulled out to do a quick ollie.
- A hatchet sat under the drivers seat. He told me it was for self defense.
- He bragged about his cooking setup: A small propane stove and pan.
- He had a slingshot for target practice and entertainment.
- He pulled out a board game (I forget which, pretty sure it was unopened).
- And last but not least, floating around in his backseat was a copy of Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
The Man Behind the Comedy
Michael Blanck is naturally funny. We have another piece on his comedic genius, you can read it HERE. He doesn’t have to try. It’s just who he is. So my roommates and I decided to test him. We told Mike that if he didn’t make us laugh at least three times, we’d make him sleep in his car. He delivered. But not everything comes effortlessly.
For example, his interviewing skills are, without exaggeration, atrocious. While shadowing him, I watched him nearly get slapped five different times after repeatedly asking every woman: “What is the strongest female vagina?”
Yes, that was the actual question. “Female vagina,” as if there were another kind. When asked to clarify what he meant, he’d just repeat the question.
The Open Mic Experience
I attended one of Michael’s open mics to get the full experience. It was exactly what I’d imagined.
He dropped some controversial jokes that were incredible to witness in person. It’s important to note that the town we were in was extremely liberal, so some of his jokes didn’t go over well with everyone.
There were funny moments, and others where jokes completely bombed, even prompting some of audience to quietly mutter “no, no, no.” I was laughing the entire time. Either because the joke he was telling was genuinely funny, or because of the hilarious silence that follows a bomb.
But Michael is fearless. He’s used to the highs and lows of comedy. And that resilience makes him a great comedian.
Final Thoughts
Michael Blanck’s comedy tour is inspiring in its own chaotic way. He’s broke, ambitious, and endlessly determined to make it in standup. Seeing him take stand-up to this extreme shows me just how much of an art form it truly is. He’s a starving artist in every sense of the word. Everyone has dreams, most people won’t chase them. Michael Blanck is chasing his.
If you want to watch this journey from the start, check out his YouTube channel. And follow him on Instagram and TikTok for more of his content.
Watch our full video on Michael Blanck’s story on our YouTube channel.